pilfered_words

There are people that I will cross the street to avoid, because I know that anything I say to them may be used against me in the royal court of gossip. I know, because every single thing I did, every word I said from the age of 10 to the age of 16 was considered the most hilarious thing ever. 

 

They were supposedly my friends. It took me years to figure out that real friends don’t do that, and then more years to ditch them. 

 

And yeah, I hadn’t thought of it, but my crippling paranoia whenever I need to say or write something important is absolutely linked to this. ‘What if I do it wrong? What if people make fun of me for it?”

Reading Darcy Lewis fics tonight. (As in, I opened my giant list of fics I want to read at some point, and filtered to just see the Darcy ones.)

 

In particular, Little and Broken, But Still Good by allapplesfall, because today is a good day for found family fic. And foster care fics always make me happy, in a special sad way. I like this one because Phil seems like an actual, real good parent. He doesn’t do everything right, because the kids have competing needs sometimes, and he has needs too, but he’s still very clearly Good At This. And Darcy isn’t perfect in very realistic ways. 

 

Tangentially, I never know whether to tag authors when I write a midnight post about their fic. Not doing it makes me feel like I’m talking about them behind their back, and tagging them makes me feel self-conscious. Midnight posts are all about spewing out random shit, and what if I accidentally said something mean? Or worse, what if I said something critical? And if I just said, “reading this awesome fic”, well, does the author really need to be informed about that? Why would they care that some nobody on tumblr is reading their fic?