(crosspost)

[pilfered_words]

(Responding to this post about bullying and social anxiety)
 

There are people that I will cross the street to avoid, because I know that anything I say to them may be used against me in the royal court of gossip. I know, because every single thing I did, every word I said from the age of 10 to the age of 16 was considered the most hilarious thing ever. 

 

They were supposedly my friends. It took me years to figure out that real friends don’t do that, and then more years to ditch them. 

 

And yeah, I hadn’t thought of it, but my crippling paranoia whenever I need to say or write something important is absolutely linked to this. ‘What if I do it wrong? What if people make fun of me for it?”

Edit on crossposting, 12/8/18: It's amazing how much I can get accomplished out of sheer spite. Many a time in the last year and a half have I had the thought, "No, I can't say that, that's dumb. Wait. Are the people I'm talking to shitheads like my "friends"? No? Then it'll be fine."